Two little words.

The past 18 months have been a roller coaster. I have been scared, emotional, ridden with fear. Felt excited, had fun and been inspired. The most important thing that I can do now is recognise this has not only been MY journey, I have not achieved this on my own. This tale is not complete with out mentioning the amazing people who helped me learn to run again. To say those two words that we don’t say enough. THANK YOU. So here we go.

On the medical side…

Dr Tymms, my amazing orthopedic surgeon, who wonderfully repaired my snapped achillies and opened up my leg twice more to fight away the infection.

Dr. Leo, my anesthetist and the team at the Epworth Eastern hospital.

Jacqui Louder, my sports psychologist. Thank you for listening and guiding me through this roller coaster of events. I gained so much from the time I spent with you.

Steve Hawkins, my physio who got me back on my feet. Your experience, knowledge and care are phenomenal. Your enthusiasm towards my rehab ultimately was something money couldn’t buy.

John Quinn, my wonderful physiologist who helped me though the final stages of my rehab. I am fascinated by your knowledge and your wonderful ability to get athletes back on their feet.

Ian Nathan, my massage therapist. Your work extends far beyond massage and I have learnt so much about my body and how it operates. Your ongoing support, care and understanding in incredible.

Getting me back to running…

Joe Gulli, my old coach. Your genuine nature and being able to relate to athletes is such a wonderful quality. I still have your words of wisdom in text message you sent me after I had told you about the injury

Peter Van, my coach. I don’t think there are enough words to thank you. Your support in all aspects of my life through this time was so great. The friendship you offered me, the professional direction you adopted and the laughter that you can generate was a massive part in my recovery. Most of all, thank you for your belief in me to achieve my goals. Without you, I would not have achieved what I did. Thank you.

Lloyd, Dys and Bells, my dedicated training partners that I see day in day out. I love training with you. Thank you for being so supportive and interested in my recovery. I know training will be fun when you guys are there.

Thank you to the Angelsea Beach team. You are an amazing group of people, I love training and racing with you.

John Baldock, your passion towards the surf club and me is mind blowing. Thank you for all the support you have offered during this time.

My friends…

Jadey, Dani, Andy, Tanya, Andrea, Tegs, Kate P, Ebon, Gabe, Jess, Jack Gulli, Jemma, Marty, Steve, Abi, Kate, Jan, Sara, Nai, Matta, Nes, George, Steve, Mans, Crib, Em, Crib, Date, Hayley, Pammi. Thank you for your visits and time spent with me over summer.

Housemates Gabby, Adrian and Saana, thank you for putting up with me and helping me live and get by on one leg.

Workmates and colleagues Dave, Jane, Andrea, Nat, Kate Bu, Kate P and the crew at Fed Square, thank you for caring so much and getting me back to work.

My support group…(aka my family)

Wendy, my aunty who had this same injury. Thank you for offering me your insights.

Aaron and Holly thank you for caring and understanding what I was going through and supporting me during this time.

Mum and Dad, your support to me though this time was amazing. Thank you for caring so much, for allowing me to not have to worry about the smaller challenges that life throws at you during these times of toughness.

And most of all my beautiful sister, Claire. You have inspired me, encouraged me, put me back into line, told me to pull my head in and taught me so much. I cant thank you enough.

I cant thank all of these people enough and everyone who was part of this time in my life. I love you all and thank you.

The 18 month rollercoaster

Training returned to Olympic Park tonight. My first real session back there since I ruptured my achillies. I have trained there since, but not in the same capacity. A typical cold winters night. Beautiful, none the less. As the darkness of the cold Melbourne night set in, the city comes to life the radiant AAMI park roof lights up. I could stare at it all night, the tiny coloured glistening lights. With the darkness brings peace and stillness in a strange way when you are in the middle of the chaos.

Our session begins as this place has a unique ability to immerse me in the moment. Pacing up and down the grass, I feel like I’m floating. I haven’t run like this in a few months yet the feeling is amazing. I truly love running. The others idle with athletic chitchat, as I am completely absorbed in the moment. The soft grass takes my impact and I concentrate on perfecting my style. Striding out, I lift my hips, relax my shoulders and freely swing my arms. The cool air freezes my face, my body moves. There is nowhere else I would rather be.

As I trundle past the very spot my achillies snapped (a quick calculation in my head) exactly 18 months ago to this very day (ironic in itself), thoughts of my journey of returning to running come flooding back. The past 18 months has been an incredible roller coaster, physically, mentally and emotionally. A time that seemed could not pass fast enough, is simply over and I have popped out at the other end. A place I never thought I would reach at the time. Emotions deluge my mind as a lump builds in the back of my throat. I feel I finally can realise the ride I have been on. The amazing ability the human body has to heal and recreate itself. Most of all the true understanding of achieving something you set out to do. After they hype and excitement of the moment dies down. Believing in yourself and the unforeseeable future. I did it J.

Aussies Finals Day: In just a few short seconds, it was all over!

Being ‘alive’ on the finals day is an exciting experience. I sat in the shade of the big screen waiting to be called for the final. The breeze was warm and it was hot in the sun. The atmosphere was buzzing. Knowing that a few days before the arena was filled with every competitor. Filed down to the final eight, it was now practically empty. For me this made it more exciting.

During this wait a few people joined me momentarily. Lloyd came with his enthusiasm and motivation. Amongst others, Lloyd has been one of my closest training partners and had shared the entire year of training with me. His excitement for me lifted my spirits. Balls sat down beside me. His passion for this sport is so great; he can make you smile and cry at the same time. The final words always so encouraging and filled with wisdom and true meaning.

Van sat on my other side for the last piece of advice. I can’t thank him enough for the work he has put in with me. His energy and enthusiasm were addictive. This was not about what I had to do, or not do. The hard work was done. For now I couldn’t get any stronger or faster, perhaps just wiser. He took me back to remember where I had been. The emotions flooding back, as everything to do with this injury flashed before me. Remembering how hard I had worked to get where I was. The rebuilding process that I had achieved to be here today and in this race. He reminded me that I was the only one who had started this quest for the flag 12 months ago in a moonboot with a ruptured achillies. This didn’t make me better than anyone, you should never compare. But it made me realise what you can archive if you want something bad enough.

To my surprise I wasn’t drawing inspiration from this today. Perhaps in hindsight I should have been. I wanted to look forward and focus on what I could do. Or maybe how good I could do it.

We walked onto the arena and the hot sun pierced my entire body. The heat was scorching. As much as I tried to ignore it, I had probably drawn the worst possible lane. Between teammates Melissa, last years winner and Chanel who’d beaten Melissa at last weeks Queensland titles. This didn’t matter because anything can happen in flags. Lining up on the sand, I drew every inch of energy from the super excited crowd as the air fell silent and we waited for the start.

The whistle blasted and I didn’t miss a beat. When I turned to face the flag, I couldn’t see anyone. But as I stepped out they caved in beside me, I had no option but to change path. Behind Chanel I put the dive in but being in the wrong line I missed by inches. For a moment my heart sank and I was bitterly disappointed. There was no flag for me. In just a few short seconds, it was all over. Walking of the arena I felt sad inside. I am pretty hard on myself in what I expect to achieve. I love flags so much; I just wanted to keep playing! The final seemed to drag on for ages and I watched from the sidelines. Michelle came in third and Melissa winning in a close run off with Chanel (in second). I commend these girls, congratulations to them all. This year had definitely been a hot final!

As I came to reflect on what I had achieved, I pushed the sadness away. I realised how well I had done to get this far and to get back to this level of competition. Eighth in both individual finals and third in our relay, you have to be happy with that. Yes, I was happy with that J.